Margot Robbie’s Barbie is a girl’s girl. She’s the best friend you meet in a club bathroom, follow on Instagram, and never talk to again. She’s the subject of every great love song in history, including but not limited to “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston. Margot Robbie’s Barbie is Everything.
We’ve all seen the pictures, Barbie looks absolutely beautiful — and Ken’s there.
Simu Liu’s Ken hasn’t moved on from the early 2010s quiff hairstyle phase, but you kind of have to respect the commitment to the look.
When Dua Lipa released “We’re Good” on Future Nostalgia (Moonlight Edition) in 2021, the opening lyric — “I’m on an island” — was laughably obvious. Per her early pandemic photo-dumps on Instagram, the singer was on multiple islands, all over the world, all of the time. But you’ll have to forgive her — she was getting into character for her big-screen debut. Already something of a siren, Dua didn’t have to do a ton of method acting, but it must have been hard adjusting to life in the ocean with that party city wig threatening to float away with the splash of a wave.
No, this isn’t some offshoot promotional campaign for the Meghan Trainor single “Mother,” but Will Ferrell is, in fact, mother.
Issa Rae’s presidential special collector’s edition Barbie features a talkbox that recites her most iconic phrases. Press the button on her back once, and Barbie will tell you: “I’m rooting for everybody Black.”
Kate McKinnon’s Barbie looks like she fell asleep at a party around too many people with access to magic markers while simultaneously possessing an unhinged energy that suggests she could have drawn on her own face. She’s also always in the splits, for some reason, but the stunned look in her eyes makes it feel like she’s been caught in the act.
Barbie is everything, Ken is just Ken, and Allan is the third friend in a group that has to walk behind everyone else when the sidewalk gets narrow. He’s the one that tries to jump into the conversation five times before giving up when he realizes everyone is talking over him and no one is listening. But Michael Cera’s Allan, in particular, seems like a good person to have on your side in a fight, even if only because he looks like he bites people.
America Ferrera is human. She’s got a point, she’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she is the moment.
Though his eyebrows are stuck in the beauty community’s 2016 trends, Ncuti Gatwa’s Ken is ready to move on. In fact, he’s going to take his horse to the old town road, and when he gets there, he’s going to ride until he can’t no more.
Helen Mirren joins a long line of iconic narrators like a cross between Kristen Bell as Gossip Girl and Julie Andrews as Lady Whistledown in Bridgerton.
There’s no rule that says you can’t work for the United Nations while also delivering the slay of the century. Nicola Coughlan’s summit diplomat Barbie is solving international relations conflicts one ruffled tulle sleeve at a time.
Connor Swindells is the poor social media intern who gets blamed for weird branding errors on Twitter, when in actuality he maybe isn’t an intern at all and is just some guy not getting paid enough to deal with the internet’s shit.
A regular ol’ Elle Woods in her “What? Like it’s hard?” era, Sharon Rooney’s Barbie passed the bar — then went and got a blowout at Drybar.
Being one of the less interesting Ken variations can feel erasing, but Scott Evans has already had to live his entire life in the shadow of his brother Chris Evans, so he gets it. Plus, Captain America could never pull off a cowboy hat like that.
What do Kendrick Lamar, Toni Morrison, and Ritu Arya’s Barbie all have in common? A Pulitzer Prize.
Kingsley Ben-Adir’s Ken gives off the vibes of a dad on vacation who insists on waking everyone up at the crack of dawn to fit as many activities into the day as possible. Big Continental Breakfast Energy.
The introduction of Midge, Barbie’s pregnant best friend, didn’t necessarily go over well with parents in the Sixties. Thankfully, we’re far past the times when a pregnant doll would cause such controversy, and Emerald Fennell has bangs, so we won’t have a recreation of the original doll’s massive forehead.
Who would all the Barbies and Kens be without the humans to play with them?
Emma Mackey’s Nobel Prize in Physics-winning Barbie is Albert Einstein if he slayed.
Hari Nef’s Barbie is like if Grey’s Anatomy had a crossover episode with Project Runway. But instead of everyone being confused about why people keep dying at a hospital where the whole staff is sleeping together, they’re wondering why this heart-shaped earring-wearing doctor left in the middle of surgery to go see Harry Styles’ Love on Tour.
Alexandra Shipp’s Barbie is a celebrated author and a role model for everyone writing fanfics on Wattpad loosely based on boy band members hoping to get a five-movie deal with Netflix. But they’re willing to settle for Lifetime, if needed.
Ana Cryz Kayne’s Supreme Court Justice Barbie is Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s successor, tasked with protecting women’s reproductive rights and bringing a pop of color to that bleek black robe uniform.
Whatever that means.